January 9, 2014
Recently, I got a little bored with fashion. Say whaaaaaat?
As much as I love black and white and grey outfits (heck, I just bought two pairs of black shoes today after receiving one black pair three days ago...and a black skirt yesterday?), I feel like fashion bloggers/mags are being boring recently. I know that oversized coats are a thing, birks are a thing, monotones in winter are a thing (?!), airport fashion is a thing (like what? It's always skinny jeans, ankle chelseas, cozy knits, plus a designer bag), but being plain and boring and generic IS NOT A THING. Posting repetitive outfits is so not inspirational and I'm blaming fashion media for lack of outfit inspirations lately. It feels like as if the polar vortex (totes a thing...hell no) froze off everyone's creativity. And I think there are looks that you can call a "blogger look" because so many wear a similar look. If I were to be a legit fashion blogger, I would definitely seek out interesting pieces that are not overly popular, EVEN IF they're black and white pieces (examples see below)
far left & right Vanessa and Samantha Traina both photographed by Vanessa Jackman; mid left Alexander Wang on sale; mid right Lanvin on (major) sale
And "it pieces". Like, those pieces are totally cool when one person or a couple are wearing it. But when EVERYONE has it, it's not interesting anymore. Like, the Balenciaga cutouts, or Isabel Marant western-ish studded sandals (forgot the exact name). They do look really great. But then, I think the logic behind it is: since a couple of bloggers really loved it, everyone thought they would be timeless pieces so everyone bought them. To me, there are notable pieces, like a Hermes Kelly, one that you recognize in an instant but then not everyone has it yet it remains timeless throughout the years; and then there are overly-hyped pieces. One day, you are gonna look at one of those hyped pieces and be like, back in the day when blah blah was a thing...and the certain blah blahs would be sitting in your closet begging for another day out and about.
Another thing is, since ALL fashion bloggers (pretty much, almost) are tall and skinny, it doesn't mean their clothes will look good on YOU, who are not tall and skinny. As far as I know, I will not rock backless silky dresses like Margaret would, because they're meant for her frame. I will not rock suit pants like Camille would because I'm short and chubs. I will not rock boyfriend jeans because I'm short and I can't wear heels on a daily bases to look taller in order to wear those things. Giant coats don't work for me either because there's no place to put it when I get to school everyday.
In the end, it's cold and miserable out, so wear something that pops to make your day (and everyone else's) day better.
most of these are photographed by Vanessa Jackman; Leandra in red leather jacket is from her own blog; Mira in yellow suit source unknown; pink sweater outfit is photographed by Tamu McPhersonLabels: streetstyle, thoughts and feelings
October 27, 2013
No time to organize my thoughts into proper words today, as life has been distressing but fruitful. Here are a couple of things that are on my mind right now.
- Living off campus is like, heaven. I get my own room, make my own food, gym is a minute away, I can drive to anywhere I want whenever I want, bigger closet, I don't have to worry about disturbing people when I sleep super late or get up super early, more fridge space, I can go get fresh fruits all the time, COMFY BED, sometimes I can slack off and just use the dishwasher, the list goes on. I can get used to this freedom. The only main thing I dislike is that I can't go to the library freely any more. Like, when I need to stay up late and work on things but am not being productive at home.
- I went to MUSC on Friday, learned a lot of new stuff that I wasn't expecting to learn about. I look forward to applying and being interviewed next year. But first, I must learn how to appeal to a typical interviewer who is a "middle-aged white male". Less than a year left let's gooo. (I have recently started practicing this thing called classy outfitting, including boob-hiding black sweaters and nude/classic red nails. I hope I survive before I die of boredom.)
- Happiness. My bff Steph did a wonderful post on her take on happiness the other day. I thought I would do a reply post, but unfortunately...this happened. So I would like to quickly offer my thoughts. My happiness resides in things that I worked hard for and eventually achieved/obtained. In brief moments of heartbreak, I think about these things and they bring me back on my feet. When I lose hope, I think about how much I am actually in control of my current situations and put the trust in my abilities to overcome these obstacles. Most of the time, I succeed. And the cycle continues. Here, I must digress to another related topic. I may be a big procrastinator when it comes to studying for a test or completing assignments, but I always leave just enough time to study so I still end up being the best in class.
- Cyber bullying is annoying as hell. Personally, I have never experienced it, but I've stopped reading comments on sites/grams/whatever for a long while now. It's totally believable yet still shocking to see how people can throw such rude words at others who they don't personally know. It makes you wonder how stupid most of the population is.
- Cyber bullying leads to the seemingly endless discussion on women's body size. I must disagree with people who say "zero is not a size". Hate to break it to all the Ignorants, but in fact, zero is a size. Creating standardized sizing is actually a good thing for both manufacturers and consumers. So much easier to buy clothes when they have sizes...right?!!!@!#! Though, body shaming in any way is bad. Phrases like "eat a burger","someone feed her" or "she's a pig" are equally harmful. Can't people just be nice or say nothing at all?! In fact, I am trying to "lose weight" because eating in excess is always interfering with my ability to focus. I am not bothered by the numerical number I see when I step on a scale. I simply need to be healthier through better dieting and exercising. It should be called "get fit" not "lose weight". When people give me side-eyes when I say I don't eat brownies or cookies or cakes or ice-cream or fried food, I just want to say that it is for my own good and those foods are actually bad for you in many ways.
- Desperately in need of new jeans (old ones have faded into a color that I hate), sweaters (what the hell, Columbia weather?!), decent thick cardi or soft blazer or faux leather jacket (basically, things I can layer on and take off easily in sauna-like classrooms at school), short skirts (because I'm a b**** and want to be leggy in winter), men's flannel shirts (because they make layering easy and I wouldn't look homeless and still be different), ankle boots (I actually feel like I have enough shoes but ankle boots are hot), more scarves (just because.)
- I'm determined to start reading non-fictions!!!! I think it will be a good way for me to become an interesting "normal" civilized individual and appeal to *cough cough* potential interviewers.
- This new season of Vampire Diaries is really good and The Originals....oh man, it's like there are two episodes of TVD in one week! Farewell, sleep!
Maybe I will elaborate on some of these topics later. But now, I must continue on my plan of world domination by first finishing off this art history paper with old school Britney Spears playing in the background. Peace out x
Labels: personal, thoughts and feelings
May 5, 2013
*quote from Parachute's song "She (For Liz)", picture from unknown sourceLabels: music, thoughts and feelings
April 10, 2013
If you're wondering about the recent blog title change...NO. I don't do self-harm. Ain't nobody got time for that. (OK yes this meme is too old.)
incision.
My old blog title "Going Through Changes" really meant it. I was never sure how to title this blog. I was going through changes. I was a child. I tear through pages of life lightheartedly and irresponsibly. I was uncertain. I was a mess in my own terms.
In a sense, I still am. My taste in music changes constantly. Mood swings. Second-guessing myself. I would make a decision and change it a day later.
But more importantly, I have developed a sense of direction. Everyday, there is something to look forward to. Defining goals and working towards them. I smile at my own successes and try harder when there're failures. I am constantly anxious about the amazing things that I get the chance to do and the amazing people that I get to meet. I have also become over-achieving in light of recent events. I try harder, and I would feel like I'm at the top of the world. I may be self-righteous, but I'm not judgmental. I am welcoming new ideas and taking a lot more thought-over risks than I used to. (I'm losing direction though, in terms of geography. Invention of GPS is a double-edged sword, I tell ya. We're dying in our own wits.)
incision.
I really meant teeth. At the end of the day, I just want to be a dentist. There's nothing else in the world I want to do for the rest of my life. I love fashion. I love this blog. I love photography. I love teaching others skills that I possess (did I forget to mention that I am becoming an organic chemistry TA next semester? *Squeel* It's not yet official, though). But they are not fields that I will excel in because I don't have the will power to do so. I enjoy them greatly but they are things that I can put aside. They are not my true passion. Being a dentist means that I will get to solve problems, which is always extremely pleasurable. I don't know about you guys, but being able to listen to others' problems and provide a solution to it is one of my favorite things. I am not particularly good at this in life (like when others tell me their relationship troubles and stuff, all I do is just sit there and be like, "ok, now what the hell can I do?!"). And dentistry is something that is so relevant to everybody on this planet. Though the case differs from person to person, there is always a set of complicated (why else does school take so long? Huh?) guidelines that we should follow. I do have to be sensitive because it is to some degrees a trade that relies on interpersonal relations, but it's not something that I have to spend so long to just figure others out. Let's just say that figuring people out is not my forte. I also believe seeing your dentist should be a pleasurable experience. And so many have made this profession a fiend to deal with. Gosh people, teeth are your friends. Dentists should be, too. (My other life goal is to be a stylish dentist, wearing sky-high heels to work everyday and run around like a mad woman, obviously.)
I also really meant on this blog, I want to share things that I can sink my teeth in. Besides having one thing I really want to do for the rest of my life, I also feel the need to let my imagination run elsewhere. This leads to the proper titling (finally) of this blog. incision. I want to become a part-time expert in my hobbies. And this is the place to do it.
*Happy National Siblings Day, David! See ya in T-minus one month!Labels: thoughts and feelings
March 26, 2013
I am by no means a politics guru. I rarely read political news - I get my major-events-that-are-happening feed from Twitter. But I become interested every once in a while in topics concerning government's involvement in civil liberties. Today Supreme Court is hearing arguments on California's Prop 8 (ban of same-sex marriage). Thus this post.
I believe same-sex marriage should be legal because:
- We are all aware a lot of federal/state legislation do include words that regard marital status, something completely personal (among many many other things) that shouldn't have anything to do with the government.
- If the government is involved in some of us's personal relationships (marriage, in this case), and we know that our government's involvement isn't going away any time soon, then it is only reasonable to let these legislation extend to all of those who want to have government in their personal relationships.
Some people don't believe in same-sex marriage because "marriage should be between a man and a woman" according to their belief, then my words to these people are:
- What is your belief based upon? Some wild interpretations? Archaic thoughts from a bunch of archaic people who know so much less than we do in the 21st century (you can't blame them then!)? Then, see post banner.
- If they are just homophobic, then, see post banner.
- Or maybe they are OK with same-sex relationships, but they think same-sex couples shouldn't be able to get married. This leads to my third point/question: why is marriage regulated by the government again?!
Maybe I am just unconventional, but I think there should be "legal relationships" that the government get to deal with (since they are so obsessed with relationships), thus we get to keep to ourselves all the personal relationships. Let's be honest, our personal relationships are already extremely complicated without all the legal stuffs. My idea of a "legal relationship", resembling a legal marriage, would be for tax purposes and all those abstruse things that governments like to mess our heads with (I believe taxation is a very reasonable and useful invention, so I'm referring to the marital status that we have to check upon filing). But you see, this is all very impractical. So the government needs to leave us alone!!! So people can get married if they want to, without all the legalities, for love!
Sadly government is like, MUST COCKBLOCK!
*Red for marriage equality. If straight people get to suffer, why not sharing the fun?Labels: thoughts and feelings
February 24, 2013
As promised, Steph gets her own song. It's somewhere in the playlist, Steph (&Pri), you'll know when you see it. As for the rest of you, read on.
There were major moments of sudden realizations these past weeks. And most of them are centered around adulthood. Some of you may know, I'm a huge procrastinator, especially when it comes to things that should totally be done thoroughly and as early as possible. Welp, finding a place to live next year is definitely one of these things that I hate to get on but have to. I kind of looked at places towards the end of last semesters, online, and gave up pretty much after 3 hours sitting at my computer. Often do I find things more complicated with modern technology. It really does help out with the exchange of information, but the ideas don't really come across as nicely in many occasions. All I saw was these horrific comments about how unsafe the neighborhood was, or how mean the managerial peeps were once you sign the lease. In reality, probably only a fraction of the people is as angry as these people appear to be online. So at the beginning of my search, I was pretty much scared away from the idea of living off-campus.
A couple of months later, an email about some on-campus housing appointment timings arrived saying that I was selected to go sign my contract next Saturday. Just to clarify, apparently next year there will be only half the amount of beds as this year. And all USC students know that only like 2% of upperclassmen actually live on-campus. While feeling fortunate that I could actually live on the historic horseshoe for a school year and wake up to beautiful sceneries every morning, I really panicked. I am extremely uncomfortable spending my parents' money at a terrible value, and on-campus housing is definitely not cost-effective. The rates also went up to 7K a year for next year without free parking spots. For garages, you'd also have to pay about 300$ a semester. While my mom urged me to live on campus because of its convenience, I thought about it as if it's my own decision concerning my own money. I went back to do some serious research and actually checked out a couple of places in person, which made me become aware of all the little details that I didn't see before. There were places that were just upfront not for me as soon as the leasor started talking. And there were other places that were just OK but I felt that I could definitely find better ones. I'm not a picky person when it comes to living. As long as it's safe and undisturbed, I'm fine. I don't need fancy pools or community-sponsored social events once a month, but that's what I ended up settling with. It honestly wasn't a long process. My budget is limited, so I find the best that fits. And the rest is luck. Life is really simple when you don't have that many options and don't try to struggle with it too hard, right? I will update on it once I move in in August. Oh, did I mention they have a 24-hour gym? Now I can't avoid working out just because the gym is too busy.
Talking about taking chances and stuff. Last September, which really doesn't feel like a long time ago, I decided on driving up to Nashville on my own and attend a concert this March. Well, it just got canceled. I was really upset. But gaga is hurt (her hip) and needed surgery and recovery and blah blah blah. Yes it's very selfish for me to be so bummed just because I now have no plans for spring break and all my planning for arriving early to get into the Monster Pit (enclosed between the catwalk and the stage, where people will possibly get picked to go on stage or even backstage). My pink hair is also of no use now. But obviously she is probably the saddest about its cancellation among us all. So here it is, my dearest and biggest inspiration, Lady Gaga, thank you, for being such a role model for simply being who you are, for allowing me to upset my parents when I talk about you (but they were glad that I wasn't antisocial for once and wanted to attend your concert), for making me feel better when I'm down, for letting me become involved with supporting LGBT issues, for getting me all pumped up and ready to go before exams. I love you and hope you recover from this terrible injury soon. (She already had her surgery last week.) & I will most definitely rock on with this awesome pink wig.
Back to talking about feeling like an adult (please excuse the unnecessarily large face shots...) I got off meal plan this semester and it makes me want to cook for myself. Like, WHAT?! Eileen wants to...COOK?! Food is another thing that I am not so particular about just like housing. I'm like, as long as I have something healthy and eatable I'm good. But my school and its surroundings are definitely not up to par with my very basic needs. There're fried chicken Wednesdays (is that what it's called?) and I got some vegetarian entree that day and the chef asked me why. Plus, Freshens also disappeared from our campus quietly last semester, so now I'm basically living off firehouse across the street. I don't bring my parents' car here so I don't have access to any fresh produce. There are grapes you can get downstairs at the fake Starbucks for $2.60 (about 10 ripening grapes, I'd say), or one slightly bitter banana for a dollar. Fruits are my life, yo. So now I get like 2 bags of oranges every three weeks I get home and a bunch of bananas and stuff, and pray they don't die before I could finish them while trying to make them last as long as I can, or, they can. So, getting a car is on my list and I hope that comes to fruition soon. (PUN INTENDED!!! GET IT GET IT???)
My laziness takes presence in other forms, like starting to study for this plant exam at 11 the night before. I hate it when other people are like, "I didn't go to class and studied for this exam the morning of and I passed it." So it's not my purpose to show off or anything here. I truly feel troubled when I don't have motivations to do anything. Yes I did an oratory on finding motivations to do things. And yes it was coming from my heart. However, it is something that I'm still working on myself. I don't know maybe I thought the test was going to be easy, or I thought I didn't know how to study since it was the first test, or I just get away with it too often. But I am still finding my own way of "perspiration is more powerful than inspiration". Mark Foster wrote Pumped Up Kicks when he forced himself to stay in the studio one day and see how successful that turned out. :) Maybe I can do it too. The environment I live in is really not all that challenging though, so I have become very laid back and chill and off beat. Le sigh. But when I do get inspirations or motivations, I overachieve. If you have read this far, I can entrust you with these following words: I have four hot ochem TAs! And I'm totally cool with that, because I have now become amazing at ochem, like, I'm the one that knows all the answers. If people can show off how they pass a test by studying the day of, it is definitely more appropriate for me to say that I don't even need to study the night before an ochem exam right? That's right. This is my motivation at work so I pretty much master my ochem shiz every day (not really but something like that). I don't know. I get switched on/off like that with things. It's really spontaneous and funny to think about. But I like my gift of spontaneity.
I am not only nerdy but also extremely shallow because I like to talk about inanimate objects in every post - I found a new shampoo that work wonderfully on my hair! Fleur mentioned it in her video and it just happened that I needed new shampoo. It is TRESemme Platinum Strengh (4 bucks?), which comes in a giant black bottle. For all Asians that struggle with flat hair - this shampoo actually makes it look not so bad while not being overly fluffy at all. I still envy Leandra's naturally French-y hair though. One always wishes for things that one could never get!
One of the perks of not having an extremely challenging life is that you get lots of time to develop your hobbies. I spent some money (or a lot, according to my income level) on this hobby called fashion that you probably have heard/read about. So if this is the shallow part of the post that you don't want to read about you can skip this paragraph. :P I purchased some really awesomely cool Thundercats truck taylors (originally for the concert, but I assume that is just an excuse). To be honest, I don't know the Thundercats story/comic at all. But the prints look cool and they were the only nice ones left when I found out about them (there's a whole collection Converse did with DC Comics). Turned out, though, they are still giving me blisters. Band-aids, baby, are girls' best friends. I also got this Prabal Gurung x Target skirt. I was originally going for a patterned sweatshirts, but the prints look a bit tacky with the Target quality. Now I can just pretend "x Target" part doesn't exist and it's actual Prabal Gurung. :P The moral of the story is, fashion obsession doesn't come too expensive at times. I am also obsessed with this Rihanna x River Island collection that is coming out in March. Despite the fact that while her songs are just going downhill, her fashion sense just keeps on getting better. I'd love to have her wardrobe! There I said it. And my wish is granted. Here's a preview of her collection. I hope it will become available on ASOS because I don't think there's any other way I can buy it in the States. You see, I'm slightly obsessed with the crop tops, high slits, and just the general I-don't-give-a-fuck-ness of her way of dressing.
Material world aside, my lazy ass still loves some old fashioned entertainment. I finally got to watch Django Unchained and HOLY SHIT it was good. It's totally my kind of movie. (minor spoil alerts about nothing too influential towards the major plot...read on at your own discretion) It's not only directed by my favorite director of all time - Quentin Tarantino, but it also contains all the other aspects of me - DENTISTRY (that tooth on top of the carriage was freaking hilarious), Django's fashion sense (that blue suit was nothing but MAJOR), and my love for Wagner's opera (OK not really, but this Brunnhilde-Siegfried reference totally got me going.) So cool. One thing I love about his movies is how in all the extremely serious scenes there are these moments that just crack you up. OK I'm gonna stop there I don't want to spoil anything. Also, really exciting new music are coming out:
- March 12 - David Bowie "The Next Day"
- March 19 - Justin Timberlake "The 20/20 Experience"
- April 9 - Kurt Vile "Wakin on a Pretty Daze"
- May 7 - Vampire Weekend "Modern Vampires of the City"
- sometime this year - Lady Gaga "ARTPOP"
- The Black Keys is also working on their next album!
- Arcade Fire is also working on it....
- OK I'm gonna stop looking for more now. These are all I know.
Guess what? The Obamas listen to Frank Ocean!
So, this is pretty much all I'm gonna blog about today. Before I finish, here are some other minor details I wanted to say before I got completely off-track:
I got contacts. And some badass aviators to make me look like a boss in a Chinese mafia. That's right!
I do realize that I need a photography boyfriend to take proper pictures of my outfits. So...anyone? (Maybe that's one of the reasons that my blog is still not a proper fashion blog, Ha!)
Titling a blog is hard. My last title was supposed to be temporary. And now this one is even more boring...help me please! Inspiration, where art thou?!
Also, if you're actually listening, most of these songs have some interesting moments.
Um, blogging is an addiction I feel incomplete and irritated before I wrote this post. Now I can move on with my life. :) But so few of us still do it now. It doesn't matter what you are interested in, fashion, politics, environmental issues, personal issues, or anything you can possibly think of, blogging is a good way to either help you digest your thoughts or kind of let it all out. Do it! Labels: Lady Gaga, movies and TV shows, music, personal, photography, thoughts and feelings
February 7, 2013
One does not simply believe in someone who is so great and all-forgiving, and turn around to be irresponsible and hope to be forgiven. It's never that simple. Take care of your business in the real world first. No one can be a part of something greater if they don't try to perfect themselves.
Just a sentiment that I'm having recently. Long post up soon. (It's really sitting in the draft. But I definitely feel the need to edit and expand.)
Also, I haven't shared music in a couple of posts...here it is.
Labels: music, thoughts and feelings
January 1, 2013
Happy New Year! Even though this night is like no other, which I spent a ton of time on the Internet browsing (no shame), I was actually trying to find an outfit to wear to the upcoming Lady Gaga concert that I will be attending in March. I went through many many dress sections online...while there were many that would work for a concert, nothing quite stood out. I also need to prepare for a potentially very cold night at the concert since it's not always nice & warm in Nashville in March.
Ok, before I continue...here's the first Song of the Day of 2013! I just love Katy B. *heart*
Alright. And then...I suddenly (not this dramatic...) had a random epiphany of altering/upgrading my denim jacket (a gift from the lovely Tiff!) to a super cool, customized version, like this one Mira Duma (a new-found fashion idol of mine in 2012) owns. I found lots of lovely patches online, like for Beatles (there's a yellow submarine logo patch! how lovely!), Nirvana, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones (tongue & lip, of course), all these classic bands, and for other things that I like, such as my (beloved) Hufflepuff house of Hogwarts where I got sorted into more than a year ago, LGBT rainbow, peace sign, (and the list will be continually added to). I might also do some studs as well...but then I wouldn't be able to wash it since I'd have to take out the studs first to do that. But still. How lovely! It will become my very own personalized, one-of-a-kind denim vest & I'll be able to wear it to Lady Gaga concert with character, and still be comfortable & warm. (But I will definitely need some super cool accessories!) I'll keep y'all updated about this project. :)
Labels: music, thoughts and feelings
December 23, 2012
There's no way out
In this trapped world
Full of torment
It does not end
With an ancient prophecy
Nor from an unforeseeable catastrophe
But with mankind
Diminishing its value
Damaged and beyond repair
By its own creativity
And the lack thereof
There's no way out.
Labels: music, thoughts and feelings
December 1, 2012
Oh no, I don't have anger management issues. But I do go through stages when I'm upset, so do most of you people, I guess.
Denial.
Total explosive anger.
Sleep.
More anger and self-destruction.
Shopping. (Yes this is an important stage, for real.)
Feelings of guilt, looking for reasons & solutions.
Motivation.
I mean, I don't really manage my anger. It just happens that way.
Ok. I talk about myself too much. It's unhealthy. // In other words...100 days 'til I get to see/meet Gaga!!! :DLabels: music, personal, thoughts and feelings
November 8, 2012
Sorry for everyone not into fashion, but it appears that my blog is slowing turning into a fashion blog. I am not worshiping a higher standard of living. Instead, I see it as admiring pieces of art that you get to wear on your body (if you are rich, that is). Of course, there are people who take these rather exorbitant items as means of displaying wealth. It is truly pathetic to see art being used for something else. *hint hint, Asian supermarket w all the old ladies in unattractive outfits with LVs* My finance professor coins them the "aspirationals", those who try to dress like the rich, as most affluent people actually do the opposite.
Yet this is not a declaration for a change of direction of this blog. It has always been sort of a getaway place from sources of stress in life, and it still will be. I often wish I could write more instead of posting pictures all day, but I am not a writer. I wish my words mean more than they do.
Now back to the original topic of this post - Maison Martin Margiela x H&M. You all know how obsessed I am with all the H&M collaborations. I first learned about them when I was still at the beginning stages of learning about fashion on my free time - when Lanvin x H&M came out and Susie Bubble was blogging about going to the launch party. I remember it was a lot of bright-colored, big-ruffled classic simple-yet-playful Lanvin. It was pretty huge. And then there were the Versace, Marni, and most recently, Anna dello Russo's (a personal style hero of mine) accessories collaborations. Every collection has its hits and misses, but I'd say I'm as ecstatic about this as me with Lanvin. There's the typical MMM modern urban homelessness and this time with a girlish twist. It is full of statement pieces worth checking out.
Of course my love resides with the almost-naked-looking bodysuit (double illusion much?), baggy jeans, and candy wrapper purse combo. Effortless fun is its name. I'm not a huge fan of nude pumps that went with the campaign photo, so I added the broken-heel black tall boots. You are going to see a lot of these heel illusions, my friend.
Modern homelessness at its finest - metallic reflective leggings inside of an enormous down coat. It is also advised to wear a sexy long shiny necklace with them for a ready to party homeless look. (I mean, outcasts totally put all their money on a secret diamond-filled jewelry...) Don't overlook that unpretentious tote...there's a secret pocket inside that folding on the front. And there we go again, the heel-lusion. This time, this totally "in" black bootie has transparent wedge heels that I've been lusting after since...I've showed so much cool transparent stuff on here I don't even know how long.
Just so you know, transparent heels also come in wine-colored tall boots. They would do great in winter with a black knee-long leather dress. What I really love about this dress is the straight neckline - totally adds sophistication. For added texture and warmth, wear a wool menswear-inspired coat.
MMM is the most winter-friendly designer collaborator ever. Look at this totally comfortable coat!!! Grey is almost my new favorite color for this fall for its sophistication and fade-out-ness. This coat/dress thing is totally elegant. And since these are all just in time for the holiday season, wear it with red patent heels (more heel-lusion bwahahaha) or glittery flats...oh wait, these aren't flats! They look broken-heeled, but actually have invisible heel on the inside. :O MIND-BLOWN. When I first saw these bags with pseudo gloves on them...I kinda got creeped out. (There is also a dress that have a fake sleeve on it that hangs in front of your boobs, no joke.) If you need actual gloves though, there is a good pair from Zara.
There are a lot of other homeless-friendly pieces (it's actually a huge collection, really) that I wish I had more space/time to share. But lastly, I'd love to try this not-just-an-average leather jacket on, except I don't think I can pull it off. You can also accessorize with your man-friend wearing this cool boot and printed sweater, also from this collection.
The Maison Martin Margiela x H&M collection will be in select H&M stores on November 15th. Imagine the long lines!
On a side note, I like Rihanna. But her recent songs have been either too boring or too depressing. This song is totally great though. I really look forward to her new album Unapologetic coming out on November 19th.Labels: music, thoughts and feelings, wanted
November 7, 2012
I hope yesterday signifies the beginning of a civil-liberty triumph in this evolutionary struggle that impacts so many of us. I now more than ever look forward to becoming a citizen of this country, where my voice can be heard and my choice can make a difference.
Yet, I dream of a day when I feel confident to make a choice based solely on the candidates' fiscal policies // You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. Labels: music, thoughts and feelings
July 22, 2012
So long story short: my laptop has trojans. Lots and lots of trojans. But every time I open up my blog on some other device I see that same picture of my dress popping up and it bores me to death. So here is some freshness.
After a long and un-relaxing trip consisted of painting (not pictures but walls of the same color), sleeping on the floor for a week with my lady problem going on, and some dancing at a wedding where I don't recall ever talking to the happy couple ever in my life, I have returned to my usual business for the summer - watching my dentists pulling out needles, perfecting teeth with numerous sizes and shapes of burs, and occasionally cutting numbed fleshes in your mouth. I can't believe I actually had time to shop and gather a small collection of new things that might allow me to create my own little Coveteur page. (Well, ultimately, they are barely a fraction of what real coveteurs buy in a few weeks of summer...) I am craving for more though.
What else have I done after I came back: finishing The Hunger Games trilogy. (There will be zero spoilers. & I don't lie. Not on this blog anyway.) I read the last two books this weekend actually. They were quite addicting. I probably have stated somewhere on this blog a while ago that I hated reading. I really do. It burns my eyes. And I am usually left either asleep or unrest after reading. It usually goes with the former if it's a textbook. But after finishing Mockingjay a couple of hours ago, I feel as if the story should have never ended. And I'm never completely happy with the ending of any book. I always wish that they had told more about the characters, that, like stories that actually happen to real people, I could go on the Internet and find out more about what happened. But that's it. What I know is all there is to know. I guess that's another reason why I hate reading. And when I become addicted to something, I have it all at once. Like TV shows, as you probably know, I either try it and don't like it that much, or I watch it all in one day. I usually just think that it's me that's making myself hating or feeling guilty about doing anything.
& I haven't gotten new music since...Maroon 5's new album? I actually haven't really carefully listened to that yet, not even Jason Mraz's new album from May(?). I'm itching for new music though. It feels like a century since I've gotten fresh new sounds on my iPod that I actually like and would love to listen to over and over again. I actually downloaded new things. But I haven't had a chance to put them on my iPod since my computer is dead. (Oh, I'm working on getting a external drive to transfer my stuff out first before fixing it up.) And I feel skeptical about the music unless I have it plugged in my ears while doing nothing and determine if it's fit for my iTunes. Even though I haven't gotten the chance to do that, I still want to put some up here. I am eying Frank Ocean, Marina and The Diamonds, and The Lumineers. Frank Ocean's voice sounds awfully familiar. But the highlight of his album channel ORANGE to me is the backing sounds. It's creeps up on you and drowns you. This was also my first time hearing Marina Diamandis. She sounds like a combo of Katy Perry when she was cool and a touch of Florence Welch. But she definitely has her own allure and magic. I'll be definitely be getting her older disc as well. The Lumineers also sound familiar for no reason...But I have yet to dive into their sounds.
Anyway. It feels good to blog without music gadgets or pictures. It feels like legit blogging again. Oh! I guess since I'm of age, this question always pops up from other people's mouths: found any cute boys that you like? Honestly, they sound ridiculous when asking this. I understand in college, that's one big ol' concern for many people. Finding cute boys and all. But the sorts of wording coming from the mouths that are asking this question makes the people sound old and makes me feel like I'm just 10 years old. Cute boys. My parents actually bother to think about this question now. Will their daughter find someone that's worth it? I don't know. Will I? It is weird that I have not gotten a clue about my future besides the fact that I want to be a dentist, while some people I know are getting engaged and hitched. People are surprised to see me so determined though. And it becomes a pain in the ass when people ask me this. Because I actually think that I shouldn't be too concerned with someone else's happiness and well-being as much as my own. It is hard to be completely frank with people, even just one person in this whole world. I value privacy dearly. I don't want to share everything with people. And I become extremely uncomfortable when I am with someone, my shadow, who I may have lied to because I don't want so say honest but hurtful words. Then it becomes a question of my own happiness. Maybe I should live in solitude. It suits me, you know. And some people see me that way, too. Not that I care what they see. And many social interactions are necessary but not pleasurable anyway. But of course, I don't respond this way to this cute boy question because the whole thing is just a big complicated mess that I need to sort out.
So...moral of this post (without that giant last bit): I do have a problem with being happy with what I have. Always longing for more in almost everything. You can see me with nail polish hoarding already. But then I guess this should be accounted as one of my good traits. And this will affirm you, if you even exist, that I will not abandon this blog. No matter how boring my life has come to.Labels: music, personal, thoughts and feelings
February 15, 2012
So I was trying to enjoy some Jennifer Hudson's tribute to Whitney Houston on Youtube. And these people wouldn't shut up commenting the same things, pretty much all dissing Jen's tribute and saying that this Charice girl should've done the tribute at Grammys. Not that I didn't know who she was. Oh btw, if you didn't know, she's this young Filipino singer (aka teen pop sensation? lol isn't that the word they use for all teen singers?) who also starred in Glee for a few episodes. She has an amazing and powerful voice, and of course, was then invited to sing by Oprah, Ellen Degeneres and other famous people.
People who went to see the video are divided in two groups in general. First, people like me who likes Jennifer Hudson and wants to hear her tribute. And then there are the other ones, who are pretty much purely there to promote their own interests such as saying how amazing this Charice girl is and at the same time polarizing the audience and giving completely untrue and unsupported claims of how Jen didn't do well at all. Teens? I think so.
Yes I'm still considered a teen as well, but sometimes, I just want to say that there are so many ridiculous and stupid people in the world that I feel embarrassed of their existence. Because of their stupid presence in everything, "teen" has become a shameful label for people in my age group. But the word itself only literally means people in their teens, not some Twilight-obsessed, Bieber-obsessed, and crazy ass people. And its the teen-power that made phrases like "Who Is Paul McCartney" trend nationwide.
With that said, I wanted to say that please do not discredit someone's whole-hearted tribute to someone who just passed away a few days ago. Not to mention that tribute was amazing. I also wanted to say that there is science in choosing who to perform the tribute, not just a random good singer. And note that I did not condescend Charice at all. She is a great singer. But they chose J Hud because she had known Whitney personally and was really inspired by Whitney, again, personally. She also had performed I Will Always Love You in front of Whitney a few years ago and it was amazing. And that was probably why they chose her. Charice can sing the same song really well, but first of all, she's a teen; secondly, Whitney didn't really know her; lastly, I'm sure J Hud is a much more accomplished and prominent singer. So, suck it up, kids.Labels: thoughts and feelings
December 31, 2011
Even though I find no additional values in days like today or tomorrow comparing to any other days in my life, I am still going to try to make a gesture - write a blog post - to sum up what I've done and what I'm hoping to achieve in the future.
2011 is best described as a year of growth for me. I try to be creative here because everyone, referring to people in my year, pretty much has the same blog post about graduating from high school and entering the exciting life of college. I have to say: me too! Right now, my thought is, I'm so glad high school is over. Whenever anything reminds me to look back in my high school years, I would find them ridiculous and wasteful. I sometimes do see the worst of things/people, don't I? I love my friends in high school, but whenever I think about high school, the images of wasted time of doing nothing that benefit me, ridiculous drama, stupid rules among other things that I extremely dislike flourish in my head. And then I would eventually get to the good part about friends. So, I always try to avoid the topic of high school. And that's yet another reason I don't do Facebook as much because it is usually filled with stuff related to high school. But I did grow out of high school into college this year. And that's the most exciting part. Even though I may not be at the best college ever in the whole world, but I am very confident to say that I am happy with my own unique experience of college. Of course there are things that I dislike about it, but overall, it is far better than high school. Because I, myself, is much more free than I was back then. A set of rules that constrain the experience in the small society of high school no longer exists in college. You do not need to follow dress codes; you do not have to be in classrooms the whole day when you pretty much accomplish nothing in all those hours; you are not exhausted from sitting there and trying to pay attention at the end of the day; you get to manage your own time and experience with different ways of doing it; and most importantly, the overall flexibility of college. I as an individual is gradually transitioning into a more contributing part of the society instead of a useless part in a pseudo-prison, aka high school. Even though in college, what I do still pretty much only benefits me only. But the college environment is much more similar to a fully functional society, where you are responsible for many things other than following the rules. I am not a control freak. But people in general like the sense of being able to control what is going on around you, right? And I believe that is what I've gained in this past year - being able to learn to control the world around me and take responsibilities. Things like, researching and deciding what classes to take next semester, going to work, find internship opportunities and forming a amicable relationship with a professor so he would allow me to work at his lab are all my own responsibilities. There is no one forcing me to do any of these. But they are all something that I want and I'm glad I've done them.
I don't believe in new year's resolutions. Because nothing ever happens according to plans. But I do like to write out a few things that I wish I could accomplish in the near future. It's totally OK if I don't do them. Like, many people never fulfill their new year's resolution either. But I thought these would be cool.
- keep writing and blogging. I'm never a writer, but trying to improve my writing skill by constant blogging meaningful things and stuff on my thoughts has been a great idea this past year. I wrote a lot for two classes this past semester and I believe my writing ability has increased tons because of those. I want to thank Dr. V for pointing out to me the flaws in my writing and allowing me time to find how I can improve those. And I'm glad that you think that I've improved a lot. That most definitely gave me strength and confidence.
- find a summer internship that has something to do with my future dental career. I know it's pretty late to say this because the deadlines are probably really close. But It'd be great if I find one. I know it's hard to do so in freshman year. But also, keep the job.
- work out more in college. Free gym!! Since I'm going to buy these running tights and all the gears, I should feel motivated right? Finding the motivation is always the key for me in advancement in anything that I want to do.
- get a Gamecock sweatshirt. Haha. I know this totally sounds funny. Because pretty much everyone at USC has one. But I don't. I feel I lack school-spirit. Blah. On that note, I also need to attend tons of baseball games.
So those were the things that I've wanted in a while...and are all pretty much based on last year. I was also going to mention things like do more fashion blogs and such, but I've been doing them already. So...new things?
- attend a Lady Gaga concert. ANYWHERE! Please. I hope wherever I'm traveling, please be there, Gaga, It will be great.
- start my own research project. ANYWHERE! Probably at school. But if I find any better opportunities elsewhere during breaks, it would be awesome. But most importantly, where the idea is going to come from?
- travel to somewhere chill like California or Florida. Lol. Not like literally chill. But like, cool beachy places. But please. I need to get my bikini body worked out, learn swimming, and buy bathing suits first.
- become an officer at some school club. This is probably not going to happen because I'm too laid back. But, I will try. However, first thing first: become involved.
- take fashion pictures around campus. I wanted to do it, but I never had the time to do it last semester. NO. Let's face it, I didn't have the courage to do it. It must be pretty embarrassing to ask a stranger to pose for you right? But let's do it!
- score above a 20 on a practice DAT. I know all of these are going the direction of one word - school. But future is important. And school definitely is an important part of the future. But I need to work on DAT shit man. (No) pun intended. At the end of 2012, I will have be done with Orgo chem I and thus, should be able to score above a 20. (My current score - 16.)
Rise & Grind, people, Rise & Grind.Labels: personal, thoughts and feelings
December 17, 2011
I'm not getting on Facebook as often recently. Reason? Everyone's posting the same statuses as my life stories - applying for/(not) getting into colleges, or finals week/getting grades back. And seeing those statuses just reminds me of the somewhat complicated experiences that I've had in the past. I wanna say congrats to people who have been doing well, and comment on their posts and stuff, but then I realize I would get tons of notifications that I don't really need. I haven't been too attached to Facebook recently which is quite great in my opinion. I would from time to time get on and kinda get to know what's going on with people, but I don't comment as much any more. It's great to know what's up, but I feel that I'm becoming more of a not-trying-hard-to-become-involved-in-other-people's-life kind of person. Trying to do things that you maybe want to (mostly because other people do it), but wouldn't naturally do is really tiring. And doing what you like, like blogging on here and checking out fashion/make up stuff, make you feel, well, happier in general.
I'd like to keep a small friend circle because I feel that there are only a few people who truly share similar personalities with me and who I would get along perfectly. And there are the people who I want to hang out with and get to know better, but I always end up feeling that trying to hang out with those people makes me literally tired. And after a day, I would feel that I haven't really accomplished anything, while even spamming my friends make me feel happy (LOL that just sounded funny). I very much believe that life is all about doing what you want, not what society forces you to, even though most of the time, a non-conformer would not live the most "successful" life. But I believe that people who purposefully conform and become successful live a much less happy life than the former. Well, you can maybe be perfectly "normal" and don't have to "conform", but I don't think such person exists. Individuality is very important and it's most definitely NOT about trying to be different, but about being who you are. It's like, many people in college drink a lot. I think it's OK if that's what you want from the beginning. But if it's something that other people persuaded you to do, or you are trying to fit in with a group, it will most likely make you feel unhappy at the end of a day. You may be happy for a while, hanging with friends, but nothing that is "forced" on you can make you happy. I'm not advertising for under-age drinking here, and I'm not a drinker at all. But I guess I'm using it as an example of what one should or should not do. And it's quite simple.
I say follow your heart for what you like and what you want to do. You might think that I'm conflicting with how I'm usually like, super analytical when I blog seriously? But this is what I like. I feel like being super analytical with these serious blog posts and talk about life and stuff this way. I am not trying to be someone that I'm not. And that's what I call following one's heart. I honestly don't care if someone with conflicting views sees this and gets really angry or anything. Hate me all you want. Note: I started to read Got Is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens who passed away recently. I'm never really into non-fictions. But since he was such a great writer, I wanna try it, considering the fact that I'm an atheist like him. There are people who try to convert me. But if you know me, you know how I am, really, not looking for anything/anyone to "save" me. But this is a whole different story.
But then one must notice, that no one can truly be "free". I can say that I cannot NOT conform at all. I have to do it sometimes, like, I would love to try really different makeup and outfit and walk out of my dorm looking real scary. Because that will scare everyone away. And I don't know if my friends will still love me. (LOL) But I feel that I can be free to some extent. I sometimes wear real thick brows or somewhat creative makeup and outfits in public. I can curse at my professors when no one hears me. I can give a hate-speech on people that I really really disrespect. I can have scary makeup at home when no one sees me. But I do all of them in a sorta conforming way. I mean, its also a myth to be truly free, just like to be truly "normal" - none of these exist.
I guess there isn't really a purpose for this post. But I just wanted to say, don't worry about being accepted by other people. Push the limit of "free"-ness. It will make you so much happier.Labels: personal, thoughts and feelings
December 11, 2011
Fucking parents.
They want too much to do with your life. And I'm like, I know you guys brought me up and still provide me with life essentials, but really? It's all out of your own wish to do these and I have nothing to do with it.
It doesn't apply to only parents. I think it's just that I don't like when people assert unnecessary power over me. Sometimes people would randomly be like, why don't you do/try this? Why didn't you do this? I'd be like, who the fuck are you? You don't even know me. It's not that I'm unwelcoming to advices or anything. But when these things are given out improperly, I see it as an advance of their power over me. This reminds me of Andy Samberg's "Man! What I look like? A charity case?" LOL. I don't need to be inferior to strangers.
And this is especially true with parents. I'm not saying that they are strangers. But their values and out views are completely different from mine and that sets us apart, like strangers. They'd be like,why didn't you work hard and get your IB diploma? And I was like, I didn't want it and don't need it, so I didn't study for it. And they would say, well, your spend all four years on it and you should have some personal goals and work hard for everything. And then they went on how I wouldn't get in med school just because I did not work hard to get my diploma. How are they related? I have no idea. I don't need your help to judge what I want and what I don't want. I can honestly say that I was a little disappointed when I didn't get it. You know, it's something that I could've gotten it as a by-product of being in this sucky school with sucky teachers. But the reason I was in this program was, I could get higher GPAs and this program makes me appear better on my apps. Believe me, there are numerous far better high schools that I could've gone to in the whole entire universe. Wasn't our school something like, below average/at risk? We may love our teachers for not giving us anything to do, but, I don't think my parents understand how BAD our teachers actually were. While all these crappiness do not matter in making my college apps look good, they definitely do not contribute to helping me to get my IB diploma. But I did not want that diploma because it doesn't have anything to do with anything. I could be a little self-pride at most. Honestly, who's gonna go around and tell people, hey! I got my IB diploma!!!! Yayyy!!! You jealous? Because people would be like, what the fuck is an IB diploma? Since we all know that I value things based on their functions, this diploma definitely has zero function to me. But Asian parents are all about, as we all know, being the bestest at everything, even in things that do not matter. And parents also simplify things and make wild assumptions. Crazy. I know. Not gonna try to go into that.
Or like, they give you unnecessary care. As my dear friend Priya said, it's best not to tell them things. I agree. It's not that they TRY to care about you (or do they?), but I think having paid so much attention on you, they unconsciously just "care" about everything about you and suddenly, something as small as not eating vegetables for a meal could become the first world problem. Fucking parents. They need to learn how to NOT care. I do believe that children also try to get parents' attention. But I pretty much feel best when I live away from them in my experience. Their care sometimes gives you extra burden to worry about. And then you have to figure out something to deal with them. Whenever I'm home, there is obviously more time of me getting annoyed by what they say. It's like, every interpersonal relationships. I see all these people getting tangled in these complicated (romantic) relationships and they'd hate each other so much. And I'm just like, then why don't you do the logical thing, by leaving them? Well, I guess I'm also kinda picky when it comes to people that I hang out with. Some slightest flaws become in the way. Maybe that's why some people thing that I always hang out with the same people? LOL. Anyway. When parents try to be caring about you, it seems to me that it always ends up being them trying to assert their value/judgment on you. And my attitude usually is: that's unnecessary.
You can see I'm not a big fan of parent-children relationships. They are too complex and love should not be the solution to all questions about it. There are always something beyond love about every relationship. Why do people have kids and do all their best to bring them up? I think at first everyone's like, kids are awesome and cute and makes your life exciting and you love them oh so much. Sure. But after a while they become burdens. And I am determined to live a free life. (But I'll never get to be truly free, I know! How sad.) And then Asian parents are like, when you are old, your children can come take care of you! Yeah. You see, there's a motif for having children other than love.
And this is not a teenager-rebellion-against-authority thing. I have the same issue with other people around me too. I love all my friends. But there are pretty much things that I don't like about most of them. But I should not try to distant myself from those "flaws" in my eyes. Some people could be like, I "love everything about you!" to everyone. And I'm just like, wow, you are really simple-minded. But yeah. Parents can be really annoying at times. And I get annoyed easier and easier now. Can't stand it when they do the same unnecessary things repeatedly.
Number one reason that I don't want kids: they are gonna write "fucking parents" on their blog posts. I would love to mold a little person exactly according to my wish, but that is inhumane. It's like, forcing your successful-ness and what you wish you could be successful at on somebody who owes nothing to you. And that is what having children seems to me. No disrespect to all parents, but, how many in the world actually are successful at it? (Not many.) And what IS successful parenting? Do successful people necessarily come from successful parenting? I believe love should not come in the way of parenting and creating proper environment for kids' maximum potential. And it is not maximum potential of "success", but more like, what they could do to have a pleasing life. And I'm never a good teacher at anything. So, whoever's gonna be my future husband, I tell ya, if you want kids, I'm not the one who's gonna try to take care of them.
This is not a rant or a hate speech. Just my opinions on some things. I may appear offensive or aggressive at times, but I guess that's partially how I write serious blog posts. & Say all you want about me. Remember what I said? I am mean, selfish, and heartless. AKA I don't care.Labels: personal, thoughts and feelings
December 5, 2011
To all who hates Lady Gaga and thinks that she's ugly,
First of all: fuck off.
You are probably no better looking than her, and I hope you don't think yourself is ugly. That would just be really sad. She's a very unique and strong human being and that's what makes her beautiful. She dresses her own way, unlike many people who dresses according to what others like. Those people have no personality. I cannot tell you how many people I've seen across campus that have exactly the same outfits. I don't think I would remember them at all. But for a few people that dresses differently and uniquely, they are truly expressing themselves. And nothing is better than knowing how to express your own unique characteristics.
I still do not understand why people say that she's a man. I mean, she looks very womanly to me. I don't know what you are talking about. Just because she is strong-willed, open-minded, pushes boundaries, sings beautifully, you think that she's a man? Do you know her? The chances are, you don't. And you probably would discriminate against all transgendered people if you express this in a negative way. And that is not right. You are a sexist. You may ask me how I know that she's a woman? I don't. She shows herself as a woman and I accept that. It doesn't matter if she's a man or a woman. She's a free human being and an artist to say the least. It's perfectly OK if you don't like her art, but you should never say that she's an ugly person.
And people say that all the out-of-the-box stuff she does is for fame. Sure, if you think that way. In that case, she is smart and knows how to sell herself to make money. And she has real talents in doing that. But I want to remind you, even if all she does are for fame and money, those things are good things that do not harm people. For all I know, she is really nice for us little monsters. She takes pictures with us, signs autographs, does things that we ask her to do upon meeting her. I'm pretty sure you have not seen how much she has done for us. And if you have seen and still thinks that she's ugly, I question your judgment. If a person spends so much time and energy to devote to her fans, I don't think anyone could do any better. She also fights for bullied kids and the entire LGBT community. And she inspires me to do the same. People say that she is over the top on these issues but I don't think so. Think about the time when you advertises for something that you really like and you believe in. She is just trying to change the world, like everyone else who have hope does. At least she changed me. She encouraged me to believe in myself and fight for what I think is right. There is never "too much" on advertising for things that you believe in when you don't harm other people. But when you bully others, like when you put really mean comments that are untrue on other people's websites (which I observed), you are "too much" and you need to stop. People who do that are truly talentless and cannot live with other people being talented. You fail.
Lastly, I also saw people saying that she's a whore and talks about sex too much. I mean, whoever says this probably fucks around as well. Let's be honest here, who doesn't think about sex? LOL. At least she ONLY TALKS about sex a lot and that is perfectly fine to me. Unless you are super religious or something and think that sex is bad and kills people (LOL mean girls...), I think our first amendment protects our freedom of speech. To my knowledge, she has much fewer boyfriends/sex buddies than many other artists. I also admire that she doesn't disclose her personal life to the public. She only sells her art, not her life, unlike many untalented people whose art won't sell. *hint hint, some people whose name start with a K...*
Fuck off, bitches.
& Paws up, monsters.
Sincerely,
EileenieLabels: Lady Gaga, thoughts and feelings
November 15, 2011
Steph asked me why am I so excited for school. I really don't know. Maybe it's my inner James Franco wanting more education or something.
On one hand, I really really really want to graduate early, you know, so I can take a break from December to May before dental school starts. Then I could travel, or do stuffs that I like that doesn't have to fulfill any requirements of sorts, or maybe do an internship if I'm gonna be overachieving. But my major has so many requirements (66...plus 18 hours for business minor) I have to plan really early like now when I'm a freshman. So pretty much I already have all the classes laid out in front of me and have them arranged tightly in my future semesters in college. If I still want to graduate a semester early, I'll have to take 5 classes every semester and maybe a maymester.
I guess that's pretty normal for anyone who's in my situation. But, one of the reasons I'm majoring in biochemistry instead of biology or chemistry (both have just over half as much credit requirements as mine) is that biochemistry is like double-majoring with some choices, especially for the higher level classes. I don't wanna just major in bio because I kinda like chem...But I don't wanna major in chem because that would be boring. Heh. And that 18 hours of business minor will add some "flavoring" to my all science schedules in the future. I hope they are fun. Even though most people seems to be like, ewww about those all the time.
Umm I've been pretty boring for the last...5 minutes? So when I wanted to write this post, I wasn't gonna write about my major or all these credits that I need to take. I was gonna write about how I want to stay in school for a while. Just to take all the classes that I want to take. Like, learning how to paint and be a pro at it; or studying art history and study abroad for a while; or maybe venture into political science and...women's studies? All the possibilities. Maybe it's just the overwhelmingly amount of things that I actually get to learn in this first semester of college made me think that all classes are gonna be so absorbing and exciting. But seriously. There's so much freedom in college that you can learn just about anything. Am I being overachieving? At this point you might not think that I'm sane.
So if I had the time and money and I didn't have to worry about becoming a successful dentist and feed myself after I graduate, I would love to stay in school for a while and study all the things I like. Kinda like what James Franco is doing. Except I would never study creative writing because I just don't really have the courage to do that and I know I would feel bad for myself if I did. But sadly, in this world, for what I have and who I am, I could not do that. I will have to stick to 4 years of college and get into dental school and all that. All these people who go to graduate school or do something else before going to dental school were actually doing something dental-related, and are mostly, well, not surprisingly, guys. It seems that girls have no time to "waste" before starting to do something that you are gonna do for the rest of your life.
I was so tempted to become an art major or something. Except, art majors actually have so much to do and they have no time to do anything else. So I really wanted to be an art minor before I found the BA minor designed for non-business majors. My parents were strongly against me doing art. They consider it to be "not useful" and thus I should not "waste any time" on it. But art is so useful in so many ways! They just don't understand. My parents also belittle any non-science/business/engineering majors. And they don't understand people who do things they love that do not make money. For them, becoming successful is like, having such a profession that gives you enough money to have a quality life (well of course, it needs to be a "proper" profession not like dealing drugs...) And for every second of your life, you need to be doing something "useful" to achieve this. So I would assume they are happy with my career choice because a dentist fits this concept of a successful career. They always question me if this is what I really like. Because since, if you don't like something, you are not gonna be happy and successful at it at the same time. What they don't understand is, I actually like these really exciting stuff that you get to do when you are a dentist, and that getting to educate your patients about stuff that you know very well is exciting.
Sometimes, to me, they seem to be contradicting themselves. Because they feel the need that I should settle down and be confined to my gender role and at the same time be successful. While that is quite possible, something along the lines of accounting or the pharm program here is most ideal for them. Because then, you don't need to spend forever in school, you will earn good amount of money, you get to move to wherever your future husband need to move to, and your job is stable. But even though they did ask me if becoming a dentist is what I like, they also wonder why I don't like being a pharmacist. They seem to blur out the line between being successful and being happy about something. What I understand from them is, you should be happy if you have any of the "decent" professions. And that is, well, quite unlikely. I think that being a pharmacist is boring and too much memorization and being a accountant is like doing exact same repetitive things for the rest of your life. While those are essential professions, to me, they seem to be very "Asian" professions and are too confined to gender roles.
Anyway. You are probably bored to death and think that I'm insane now. Or maybe not. You could think my parents are tho. But that is just some stereotypical Asian rants I guess. So. to conclude this, I would like to say that I love being a dentist for all the reasons. And I will try to be as un-intimidating as possible. Labels: personal, thoughts and feelings
November 12, 2011
There's always a good and a bad side to everything, or, more accurately, a side I like and another that I don't like about everything. And it's always totally personal. And I would switch between the two feelings and then end up getting caught in my own thoughts. For example, about forensics. I loved forensics. I mean, it's like something that helped me get into college. So I most definitely feel the need to appreciate it. I loved doing it, too. Knowing that I could do something that many other people can't; performing something that I've worked on in front of other people; being slightly good at it; and having a great team that wins at everything. It totally makes me proud. But other times, when I see people who are REALLY good at it, I feel bad for myself, because I would think, wow, I'm never gonna be that good because those people are so into it and are going to become actors and actresses and live off their talents in this. I guess I think about it that way because I was never really really really in love with it and don't have the motivation to really work hard for it. And all these people, who claim they love it so much, do they ever think about what they don't like about it? Would they give up everything for it? I feel that now, so many people would say they "love" something so very much. But how can you have the capability to love all these things equally? I can't. I always find something that I don't like about things and then it declines on my ladder of priorities. And things that keeps getting pushed away from me definitely get much less attention. But I still want to keep up with everything, you know. Like, I wanted to keep up with doing speech and debate except when I find something I find having no "use" to me, I disregard it.
I don't disregard everything that have no "use" to me though. There are friends that I find that have nothing I don't like about them. There are objects that I value dearly but they are obviously not supposed to be important. There are things that I actually enjoy and find no "bad" side to it except money, time, and others. Those cons are mostly non-personal so I always hope that I can get hands on doing it.
But all these "dislikes" about so many things, they are all so personal and I don't think anyone would ever understand why I don't like about so many things. But that's how mind is so strange. (Ok. I need a lol moment in this blog post now: taking PSYC460 next semester!!! XD I'm so learning about all these psychological shit.) There are just things that people don't like and I will never expect people to understand me on those levels. (Aka this links to steph and I's conversation about marriage and children. -.- We oh so mature.)
Something else I didn't like about forensics: there's always people that aren't really pro making negative comments about others. I mean, if you are not good at it, make a comment and tell people it's just you, someone who don't know what they are doing, is saying this. But some people just don't care how much what they say might effect others. They really don't. Especially about judging, and sometimes at practice. Not that I'm saying I'm the best at everything and what I say is correct, because I'm not, and I wasn't even close to, but, some people just think they are. I can comment about judging because I know that a lot of the judges are really not legit. We always blame the judging, and sometimes people are like, suck it up because judging is always gonna be like this at tournaments. But I guess that's one of the reasons I quit. I feel that a lot of people are not being judged equally including me, and you are always supposed to appeal to what other people may like the best, even if those aren't really the most excellent. That's how society works most of the time. There's always judging and it's not gonna be fair most of the time. That's why I want to become a dentist, a profession that is judged fairly most of the time, based on the excellence of your skill, not on its appealing. And I truly hope that I will become great at what I will do for the rest of my life.
If I offended anyone in anyway, please go away and don't talk to me. JK. But seriously. I understand you. You just don't like me this one bit, just like I don't like many other things this one bit. I can get over it. I hope you do too.
I'm really a bad listener. In so many ways. I most definitely talk too much and will die in my own thoughts.
I always start becoming random at the end of posts. So ignore me if you will.
Another theory: life doesn't suck, it's the people in it that sucks. Agree? I don't have anyone in mind while writing this, but I feel that, many people, in general, are just so immature and ridiculous. And some people most definitely are too dramatic about life than they could possibly be. Or if they are actually dramatic like that, they need to worry just a bit about if they are really normal. Omg am I actually abnormal because everyone else seems so ridiculous to me?? OMG mind-blown. JK. It's ok if you've had a bad day due to some personal problems, but one can't possibly have roller-coaster ride mood changes during a day at a high school. I mean, what REALLY happens in a day of high school? Unless you made a 60 on a test and then turned out your teacher gave you the wrong grade (hint hint, I'm being nerdy here), or you thought your friend totally just offended you but then turned out to be a misunderstanding. Nothing really happens in high school. -.- It's usually just some random TINY shit that people can't get over with. I've had dramatic mood-changes during a day. But I guess I never really announce to the world or blame it on the wrong people or something. Or when I do, I'm usually joking and the people that I tell this to know that I'm just being a bit dramatic. But some people are just too ridiculous. And I guess that's why I still hear people screaming in the hall way in my dorm. And then some people actually find these dramatic people really amusing and fun. WTF?
Thanks for reading if you actually came this far. You are truly a great friend, or possibly, a stalker. Bye.Labels: personal, thoughts and feelings
